Second Week: Overlanding Europe

Finally on the Road

As per usual, day one on our own wasn't without its dramas. But like any good road trip beginning we started off on a trip down memory lane for Jonny. Driving in the rain - like the last week of our existence has been- to check out his childhood French home.

Unsurprisingly it was another cute, quaint town and not surprisingly Jonny's childhood measurements and distances were way off, "I thought it was a lot bigger than this!", was regularly repeated throughout the visit. Eerily the gate to the house was closed when we drove by, and open four minutes later on our way out. We decided to test out Wylie’s ability to navigate the “driveway that used to be bigger than this” just to see if anyone was home. They were not, but Hank ceased the opportunity to help himself to a bite of baguette while we tried.

The dramatic part started outside of the Decathlon store, as we looked for a butane bottle with a screw attachment, not a snap-on attachment. Who knew we had to be so specific with our butane needs in Europe. Turns out, the seal Jonny replaced on the van the day before has already tapped out of this road trip and is now dumping oil everywhere- lovely.

Luckily, we, and when I say we I mean Jonny, got it changed again. He only got one shirt dirty in the process.

Two hours later we crossed our fingers and drove towards Saint-Fargeau.

The town itself looks adorable but because this is the first night getting into the swing of things, and a Friday, we head to the campsite spot we found to secure our home for the evening. It was still raining as we pulled up next to the reservoir, so we set up the awning and I take the dogs for a walk to ensure I’d be cold and damp to cook dinner in. Miraculously it clears up for us to eat the physical version of my pork, peach and farm-fresh rosemary dinner that I’d been cooking in my head all day long.

France to Belgium

Why make breakfast when there is a perfectly cute town 5km’s away, and the dogs could use a walk anyway. Saint-Fargeau is cute, like most French towns to date. Unlike the others though, this has a bell tower / chapel you can drive under, a condom machine on the outside of a pharmacy, and a to-go pizza ordering machine that has pizza-sized box dispensing abilities. Talk about living in the future. Seeing these reminded me that I still need to try the baguette vending machine we've been seeing in other towns before the year is up.

We get some croissants, and a quiche, and two ridiculously baby-sized cups of tea. I guess the lady figured two tiny cups would give me the equivalent of one small cup -yet she didn't consider a) how hot they were to carry or b) that l had ordered nearly half the store and therefore hand space was at a premium. Regardless, they were delicious and the wander led us through cobble streets, beside a creek and then under the walk- thru tower.

The drive towards Reims was scenic. Lots of rolling hills, random 300+ year old trees lining the road which were perfectly spaced, and millions of grape vines. A picturesque countryside if you ask me. The stunning sunflower fields still randomly appeared, but now being in Champagne region, the soil was more preciously used.

Today is our monthly Pizza Day. However, as we’re also trying to make headway towards Belgium, we stopped in Reims to get our late-lunch. The late part only caused by the fact that we craved our meal during the two-hour ‘siesta’ window and needed to wait for things to open again.

We parked a little way back from this “pizza cone” place I’d found so we could avoid tight parking and walk the dogs. Well, it turns out this is quite the city, and everyone is out wandering the busy shopping streets today... right where my google pin was leading us. Whoops.

To top it off, not only will we never know if eating ice cream cone shaped pizzas are good (it was closed), but my incredible back up restaurant was also closed. France hates updating Google Business listings apparently. Luckily a semi fast-food style pizza place appeared out of thin air. Now that our hangryness was subsided, we were able to admire the large, attention demanding fountains and the incredibly hard to miss Cathedral. It was beautiful. The impeccable detail was impressive. You could look at it for hours and still not see it all.

The drive through the last part of France and into Belgium was mostly rain, and I suddenly felt glad about the camp area we were going too. Surprisingly we weren't the only ones who had the same idea of hiding out like trolls under a bridge - and could you blame them. This bridge was a masterpiece. The likely thousand-year-old red brick boosted lovely arches that acted as every van's personal private site, and rain shelter. We picked the last one, closest to the river and furthest from the cows.

Sadly though, not even a well-constructed bridge can protect you from sideways rain.

Belgium to Netherlands to Germany

I’ll just put it this way - I don’t want to think how our morning would have gone if we didn’t have the bridge. It down poured all night and into the morning.

I got soaked taking the dogs for a quick walk up the road so they could at least go poo if they needed to before a vigorous drying and breakfast in the van. I won’t complain, too much, as the poor family next to us with their rooftop tent, two kids and a dog, had a much worse start to their day.

Apart from the waterfall we were living in, it was a very beautiful area. Belgium is adorable, and the rolling hills, stunning brick houses with just the right amount of modern touches is making my house-building wheels turn. We take more back roads to a small town to get some breakfast. It was obvious how hungry, and cold, we were by the fact that we ordered soup, a sandwich, a crepe and coffees… for breakfast. The lady gave us a strange look, but I have no regrets. We took a couple of pastries to go and carried on the scenic route out of town, hoping to see a castle ruins. Funnily enough, a literal roadblock prevented this from happening.

Fate was on our side though as their happened to be a dog park right where we needed to turn around, no one was in it AND it was not currently raining. Bonus! The real fun came after the dogs got their sillies out, when Jonny fished a mysterious full silver-wrapped brick out of the nearby river. Immediately I think it’s either coffee or cocaine. Jonny hopes its cash, but unless someone ground up 10,000 Euros to mimic the feeling of espresso grinds, I don’t this unmarked package is more expensive than five bucks.

We cut it open to reveal is fragrant, skunky smell and then I notice it is in immaculate shape: not mushy or wet. Score.

We drive around Liège and to the randomly Google-found "wine castle" I’d located on my iOverlander search. It’s Sunday so it’s not open for tours, but apparently the bar/restaurant is, so after driving by the "castle" twice, we stop in to check it out. First thing to note, it is not a castle. It’s just a nice estate at best. Secondly, it feels oddly quiet so in fears of someone thinking were hanging too far back from the private tour, we leave.

Instead, we make our way to Netherlands and stop in Maastricht, as a very last-minute search revealed some unique things here. We aren't made of sugar, and at some point we'll all need to stretch our legs. Geared up in case the weather turns, we walk towards the oldest wooden water mill still in operation - something I normally wouldn’t care about, and frankly after seeing it, still don’t, but it got us out wandering. The next stop was this epic bookstore but as the down pour continued we were not willing to risk our flooding our boots, so we aborted and took a random stone tunnel back to Wylie.

Within hours we were in our third country of the day, Germany, and feeling really shell shocked for the first time since arriving. French we can bullshit our way through and recognized words, but German may as well be brail.. I don't even know how to say ‘two’, which is ‘zwei’ by the way – thank you Google Translate. I pay for fuel with my hand holding up 4 fingers to indicate the pump number - if two is that complicated, I can’t imagine the higher you go it gets any easier.

Then we hit massive rainstorms for the next several hours as we drive towards Bremer.

At this point, you’re probably wondering, ‘why the rush?’. Well, apart from trying to escape the rain, we have a ferry booked to Norway, and we need to have the dogs dewormed 24hrs prior to entering the country.

This means, in our awful German and/or Danish, we need a vet willing to take us tomorrow. We've got some emails out, so fingers crossed.

By the time we make it to this random corn field, also known as our humble abode for the evening, we do our final soggy activity of the day and set up the shower.

If I wasn’t already feeling on edge enough due to the eerily rustling of the corn stalks beside us, the bunch of birds that swarmed over the van making a bomb-sound in the process really solidified my ‘horror film in the makings’ night we were in for.

Germany to Denmark

We both wake up to emails from our respective vets. The German one told me it was not happening as they book weeks out. The Denmark one said the total opposite, “just pop in before we close and we’ll do it!” That’s the attitude we need.

This sets the itinerary for the day.

By the time we get to Hamburg, we take the dogs for a much-needed long walk around a lake. It was here where we saw a duck, duck, goose parade, (crossing the path in front of us) and an actual "German" shepherd... in Germany. Do they just call them shepherds here? Asking for a friend.

As this is the last stop before things got even more expensive, we decide to stock up. We get more dog food, and these adorable Pretzel raw hide treats. We then show our ignorance and try to get into a Members Only grocery store, so instead of getting down on our stupidity, we treated ourselves to a parking lot bratwurst. This turned out to be just the German experience I never knew I needed in my life.

Not quite understanding what she was asking me, and after she mimed it out, I had happily agreed to whatever was in the mysterious metal contraption next to the skillet that she was pointing at. Thinking that it’s gotta be sautéed onions, I'm very pleased with myself saying yes and think about what proud comment I will tell Jonny when he turns out to be doubly impressed.

Turns out, I was way off. This metal contraption is not housing anything, in fact it’s a ‘Sausage-Chopper 3000’ machine. To top it off, Jonny's chopped up meat casing has mysterious brown sauce with a curry powder dusting on it. Mine has mustard. Each served with a random chunk of bread. Say what you want, but it actually turned out to be delicious.

Not willing to mime myself through the entry card process of the store we were standing outside of though in fears of what may happen, we go to the next grocery store down the road. This was a delight.

We walk out of that time warp continuum 45-mins later with all sorts of interesting things; paprika chips, string-bean meat sticks, mystery cheese, salami, hazelnut yogurt and best of all - a coffee cup shaped juice box full of an iced Starbucks cappuccino. All of them are delicious - even my dark chocolate-dipped rice cakes that mimic chewing rubber. The one downside to our epic grocery shop was that now we no longer had time to explore the city or eat all the German things. Next time, Spatzel - I’ll be back (Arnold voice)

We cross into Denmark and for the first time, we are met with a very loose border, and shocker, we get ushered aside. They are very nice, but the one guy is very concerned about our missing license plate. He asked if we had reported it stolen, to which we said “How? We do not know where it went missing, as it was somewhere between Halifax to Belgium”. He looked confused, saw that our dog paperwork was in tip top shape, finally someone appreciating the great lengths of effort I went through, and let us go.

Besides not having someone whipping past us at Mach speed on the highway, the changes in Denmark didn’t seem super noticeable. Then things began to get sparse and distance between houses got larger. The landscape also changed to reveal the ocean and the winds picked up.

Our visit to the vet in Aabenroa was a true testament to how this country lives and breathes. It's seamless, organized, efficient and friendly. The vet doesn’t even take us into an exam room - just weighs them, scans their microchip and then tossed the dewormer pills to them like treats, stamps our paperwork and away we went. I would be a customer for life if I lived here.

Now that that was done, we paced our distance over the next two nights as to not arrive at the ferry terminal too far in advance.

We drive further up the coast, spotting random poppies in the field as we did, and then went for a brief walk on the beach just below Aarhus. Eventually after realizing this country is more geared for bikers, and the ocean was way too windy, we camp out at a quiet parking lot. We meet a couple of locals, scarily make the sketchy descent to the beach and have our half lager, half froth beer (Jonny’s a great bartender) mix to celebrate!

Exploring Denmark

A breaking branch outside the van woke us up. We were already on alert due to our parking spot sleep zone, and it was just safer to move then risk a Griswold tree moment happening to Wylie. Jonny drove us down the road at 5 AM to a more open spot (a fancy word for a larger parking lot) and then proceeded to get up and down a few times to visit the very clean toilets. He’s not feeling too great and with no real plan for the day, we sleep in some more.

Eventually I decide to explore the surrounding trails so I get the dogs and go for a run, leaving a nauseas Jonny behind with a Gravol! It's a beautiful spot with a vast "mountain" bike trail network, despite it being a very flat country. I laugh when I see the Blue + Black difficulty trail markers on these gently sloping hills that a Squamish 3-year old would even be bored riding.

By the time we made it to the cliff outcrop over the ocean and took in the windy views it was all worth the previous laugh. This was beautiful, and even I could take up mountain biking here! We laze around a bit more; I semi force-feed Jonny jam and bread and let him nap another hour before we try again.

Our first stop is only 10 mins down the road and it’s probably the best free thing I’ve ever done. The only cost of entry; a questionable bag of carrots.

The dogs stayed in the car for this one and a sign told us what we could expect ahead, along with a few rules. At first, I thought this had to be a joke. Surely there isn't a park that houses random varieties of deer that you can randomly feed, oh and no one is there monitoring you. It’s just the good ole’ fashion honour system and your understanding that you can only feed them carrots or apples, not onions like Jonny instantly thought when he glanced at the art on the sign. On second thought, maybe they should monitor him... he's just prepping these deer as a Sunday roast; he probably has my fresh rosemary in his pocket too, the monster.

We walk around, nothing. I knew it, too good to be true.

Then we walk up a hill, and there they were. I opened my carrot bag and lured them over within seconds, meanwhile shouting at Jonny to capture this glorious moment. Thank God I left the battery in the cup holder in the van... It was too fun to care in this moment. Within 30-seconds of the first deer arriving I felt like some vegetable-giving Opera, “You get a carrot, you get a carrot- ouch, not my finger- you get a carrot!"

I was dry with three minutes, and so we wandered down the hill and spotted many more deer clans as we exited. I guess we just took a wrong turn when we'd entered.

A few more minutes down the road was this random art installation of a circular walking deck in the ocean. Neat but not mind-blowing like the deer fame high I was just on!

Aarhus, the second biggest city in Denmark, was unique. Lots of old vs new architecture, cute side streets with Viking walk-men on street signs. Jonny wasn’t feeling the best, so we kept the exploring to a minimum and headed for a simple lunch of sandwiches and fries to fill the belly but not to upset it.

From here we drove north to a spot 30-minutes from the ferry terminal to spend the night. At this point, the rain and winds picked up with Viking force. Ensuring the the conditions were so undesirable for the first time I drove in Europe, that my knuckles didn't know what hit them.

A couple hours later the rain let up, but the wind didn’t get the memo and had quadrupled its power. As we arrived at our home for the night, we didn’t dare park at the perfect Oceanview spots for fear of the white caps sweeping us away. We opted for the field across the road so we could get gently rocked to sleep instead.

The nearby 'dunes' were a great walking spot though and eerily led us to this tall, white church. Curious, we walked to it, and I climbed the ridicules staircase (tiny steps) to the top. Even with Jonny not feeling great, we still had a better time than the family ahead of us. One of their kids had to be rushed outside to make an emergency pee by the church, then Jonny informed me that the wind straight up blew the other child over when they all came out! Rough day…

It’s too hectic to do anything outside the van so we eat leftovers, hunker down and try to sleep. The wind is so strong, that if we’re not being rocked from side to side, it sounds like it has formed the shape of a thousand humans, and those humans are stripping the van of various parts.

Denmark to Norway

6 AM doesn't come soon enough. I could have sworn the alarm clock had turned into howling wind noise that’s how burned into my sub-conscience it was. It’s going to be a long ferry ride with this wind. We arrive promptly at 7:10 AM not sure if we're in the right massive line or not. By 8:30 AM we've still not made it to the check-in line and we realize there’s no way this is departing by 9. The boat wasn't even there! Eventually we get to the check-in line, wait more, get sent to our lane, wait more. Just as things start boarding from our line a guy waves for us to turn around - the ferry door mere feet away. Our hearts sink, but we do as we are told. Another guy checks our ticket then sends us right back to the same line. Phew!

I think they just wanted Wylie to do a little spin and show off for them, he is pretty good looking after all. Not being allowed to stay in our vehicles during the crossing, we said goodbye to the dogs and headed up to one of the four decks we could lounge in. This ferry was more like a cruise ship. Shops, cafes, reception, buffets and a …. Starbucks!

The boat leaves and even before we leave the comforts of the break, she's rocky. Ten mins later, it’s like the plague has hit 90% of the ship, Jonny included. People walking like the floors are made of Jell-O, others pale as a ghost and carrying puke bags. I was in line at Starbucks to get a coffee.

Off the ferry we do our self-required check in at the border to hand over our dog passports. We must be the only ones who follow rules because she was a quiet line, and buddy did an extra thorough check of our paperwork for fear he’d be deemed an unnecessary position.

Our first stop is for a doggy pee break at the nearest park, and I think it summarized everything I was not expecting about Norway. If a park in a residential area looked this stunning- rocks, lakes, gardens, green grass -what are we in for on the rest of this journey.

This got me even more excited, and a further 15 mins up the highway solidified we'd made the right choice in coming here. It was something I’d been starting to second-guess as we blew thru countries, experienced mountainous weather while not at all near the mountains. The first view of the sea with the typical red-houses and bright, lush greenery - I was sold. We drive thru tunnels and take the scenic route to a camp-spot tucked beside a much smaller tunnel near a lake. Hank and Quinn are just happy to be out of the wind and much closer to the meat + cheese snacks on the provided picnic table!

First Full Day in Norway

Quinn still isn't sleeping on the wonderful, over the top couch-bed we’ve set up for him and Hank (by rotating the Captain's chairs inward to the van, and utilizing the fridge to fill the gap). I swear those dogs take up 90% of our van set up time every night and what appreciation do we get? None. Just a random fluff ball wedged between us taking up most of our space. Hank is the only one experiencing any 'space' on this trip but sometimes he gets lonely and joins us too!

I go for a brisk swim and tame the hairy beasts that have become my legs-but not before bashing my left knee on my van exit. That foldable step stool and I are going to have words if its attitude keeps up. Luckily the water is just cold enough to keep the swelling down-or so I tell myself.

We drive the narrow roads into Flekkefjord and eventually find parking we can fit into. This Easy Park app has made life a lot easier, if our Wise cards pick the right currency. Yesterday my Starbucks cost $10 British pounds and I've not even stepped foot in England yet.

This town is small but nice to wander. We discover It has a city RV park with great amenities, so we stop to fill up on water before we leave. Lots of bridges and strange combinations of buildings. Plainer than I expected, but the details are on the trim and ledges once you look close enough. We get a coffee and two mysterious pastries to enjoy by the water. The cream-filled one is delicious but the pretzel, Cinnamon-bun looking one has a strange spice that I can’t quite put my finger on. It grows on you but is not my favourite. The real winner is the fresh loaf of bread.

We drive FV44 towards Ana-Sira, from here, it’s a game changer. The scenery has been amazing but now it’s 100% better. The roads are even more winding and getting narrower still- a scary thought, seeing as 80% of the traffic are motor homes. We must back up on several occasions or use the scary ‘pull overs’ they’ve created which are rarely where you need them to be.

The towns are now perfectly doted in valleys and up fjords, with brightly red coloured homes that stick out like candy against the stark sea and grass. Several hairpins and climbs stack up and eventually I can't pass up the urge to get some footage of this epicenes unfolding. We find a sketchy pull off, I take my walkie-talkie, drone, sling my camera over my shoulder and jam my phone in my pocket. My $3,000 worth of gear is no match for the steep hillside I need to trek up to in record-timing with only $130 runners on though. If the cars driving by weren’t so focused on the hectic turns, they would have gotten a real kick out of seeing me tumble and bounce off bushes while simultaneously scratching and sinking in over 2FT of spongy ground. My camera can’t afford another tumble today, even if this spongy ground would have been a welcomed change to the concrete it kissed this morning – ops. After some drone- technical error and a few back and forth, we get some nice footage and on we went to do a small hike.

This place is like the best of Ontario, British Columbia, and the Yukon combined x 10. We ended up hiking to a German-made war fort on the cliff side of the sea instead of too the random ‘window rock’ I had initially planned. That hike was crowded, and the one we were on had no one else.

On our walk back to the car, we met a local man at the cluster of homes by the trail. He seemed nice enough, and I can only imagine a few scotches down, but it was nice to ask him some questions and learn about the eastern road closures in Norway for the second time today.

It was back at the van that our new lives began. Tick-city.

It now consumed our lives and made us both suddenly itchy. They were everywhere. I’ve never experienced anything like it. By 7 PM we'd removed 7 ticks embedded and plucked close to 100 off the dogs, us and our blanket. Gross! It didn't help that our hunt for a camp site became very difficult as well. Traffic /popularity has rapidly increased and it’s hard to find a spot that’s not a parking lot. A lot of roads are also private, and I think locals are putting their own 'no camping signs up, which I don’t blame them given the traffic.

We eventually gave up looking and went back to this random field / property road that wasn’t spectacular, but it was quiet and all ours. We trekked our happy hour snacks up the hill to bask on a sun-rock like lizards, and eventually went on one final tick-patrol before retiring to the van. At least Wylie doesn’t have tall grass with blood-sucking monsters after us all.

Southern Norway

Seeing as we weren’t overly far from Egersund, we pack and take our mostly tick-free selves into town. Quinn made it clear he wouldn’t eat his dog food if the sheep were around.

We pull in, and as we wander around looking for a bakery, we notice that we are some of the only few people around and it's only 9 AM. Realizing nothing opens till 10, we do a few laps on the streets, over bridges and down to the marina. This is when our luck changes and it’s all making sense- this morning’s time delay was so Jonny could discover we could do FREE laundry at the marina facility. Incredible. We rush back to the van, go to the nearest grocery store (because they open at 7) and get detergent, and a few other Norwegian fun-looking items. By the time we walk up to our breakfast spot, the laundry is already in the dryer. Fabulous.

Things are more costly here, despite the currency exchange. A small sandwich (half), two coffees and a brownie cost us nearly $40 CND. We made up for the expense by checking out the very poshly laid out salvation Army. Jonny even scored some nice Nike thermals for only 50NOK.

Sadly, the dryer was not as efficient as the washer, but non-paying users can’t be picky. I pop it on again, and we take the 20 min drive out towards Eigerøya Lighthouse. It says it’s only a short walk and I thought it would be a good way to kill some time.

Google was back at its tricks again today. Turns out, it’s a much longer walk than anticipated, and the ‘road’ (walking path) to get there is gated, understandably so. Also, no dogs are allowed but they're fine to lay low in the van, so we walk up the path a bit, by some lake and around some lazy cows. We decide we don’t have time to reach the boring lighthouse, so we head back. My clothes are worth more than this walk. The rocks and landscape were unique though in this Magma Geopark. Jonny later finds this out after he gets an earful from the tourist centre, while I dealt with the mildly damp clothes. He's now a beacon of information for the next 300 KM of our journey and has as many brochures as a salesman to get us there.

We stay our course though and head towards Brusand beach. The drive today is less stressful with more room on the road and less hairpin turns, but it’s very rare to go more than a few mins without seeing some water; ocean, lake or river. I've decided between that, the mountains and the greenery, I could likely live here- I just need to earn the actual currency to afford it. We pay to park at a campground to access the beach. Before we go though, we hang our clothes in the van to dry. By the end, it looks like a Circus tight rope act show is going to be performed in there.

The dogs are very content and enjoying the playfulness of the beach – I am just stoked that there are no ticks out here on the long, white stretches of sand! After our impromptu picnic, we hit the road for Ålgård and do a quick detour to find a post office - the van seal is acting up again so well likely ship it to Lysebotn and needed to ask a few questions first.

We get a riverfront camp spot all to ourselves, however, within an hour more people have arrived and head of security, Hank, isn't too thrilled.